It is a warm, bright and beautiful Sunday morning. The air is crisp and
fresh, scented by the aroma of the flora growing all about. It's the type
of day when a young father SHOULD be taking his son to a park or a field to
play some catch or just spend some quality time together. But not so for John
Nolan. He can never know the joy of playing catch with his son again, and this
is certainly not a place any father could ever imagine spending time with his
son. The tears already start to form in his eyes as he approaches the small
stone just ahead of him which reads...
Sacred to the memory of Robert Nolan. Beloved son of John and Ellen Nolan. Died age 9
Each week he places flowers on an empty grave and grieves for the small boy who is lost to him forever. But one should wonder if he has cause for grief. One should wonder if he really knew what happened, if he would be able to understand.
All of us loose our childhood dreams as we grow older. But... if only he COULD understand. If only he could open up his practical grown-up heart...
They say that young Bobby Nolan is dead. What else is there to believe? And yet... who knows? Who can say for certain that the bright and wonderful world he discovered was just...Make Believe?
It could only have happened where it did, on the tiny Greek island of Xanthos, where John Nolan had rented a villa... an old forgotten place. It was not far from that villa that lay some ancient ruins. It was here that Bobby, born with a crippling disease and needing crutches, was accompanied by his private nurse, allowed this day by his father to go out exploring, so long as he didn't wander very far. Where else could Bobby have found the ancient marble plaque depicting a scene of centaurs and satyrs, and other mythical beasts dancing and playing to the merry tunes of pan pipes and lyres? Where else could a young boy have found such enchantment? For the longest time he stared in silent awe at the plaque.
"Oh, Miss Carr, it... it's SO beautiful! Do you suppose we might meet a centaur here?"
"A centaur? Really, Bobby, you know better than that. Centaurs and satyrs and dancing animals only exist in fairy tails. People used to think that such things were real, but we're not ignorant and superstitious, are we? So come along. There is something else here that I was told about that I want you to see."
She led him out of the ancient crumbling structure and down toward an old field. In the middle of the field next to some fallen pillars was a circle of stones...
"There. A magic circle. Once upon a time people actually believed that if you stood inside it and made a wish, your wish would come true and..."
"Oh, if only it WOULD! Miss Carr... why don't we try it? Please? Let me go down there and..."
"And have you scratch yourself and rip up your clothes climbing through all those bushes? What would your father think? No. Besides, it's only a story. You know that."
"But..."
"No buts, young man. We've done quite enough exploring for one day. We can't have you getting overtired. So we're going to rest, then we're going back to the villa."
And so she found a suitable place under the shade of an olive tree and spread out a blanket, insisting that Bobby should lay down and rest for a while. Bobby obeyed, and while he rested, she took out a book to read for a while, and before realizing it, her own tired eyes began to close and she too drifted off to sleep. Bobby awoke a short time later and not being able to take his mind off the magic circle, and seeing Miss Carr dozing, made up his mind what he wanted to do. If only Miss Carr had let Bobby make his wish then, perhaps the rest might never have happened. But she didn't, and it was a warm pleasant day... a day for dreams. Miss Carr slept...but it was Bobby who had the dream. And so... it began.
Slowly and carefully, Bobby made his way through the bushes and down toward the magic circle, and as predicted, he managed to scratch up his arms and tear his clothes. But he didn't care. All that mattered to him was that he MUST get into that circle of stones. And once inside, he shut his eyes, leaning heavily on his crutch...
"Please... oh, please let it be true! Let all the animals and... and... things be real!"
It was a soft, gentle voice that answered his plea...
"We CAN be real, Bobby... if you really believe we are."
He spun wildly to see the source of that voice, a look of pure joy and excitement on his face at the sight he beheld...
"You! You're a centaur! From the carving! And the animals... you ARE real!"
By twos and fours they came. From behind every rock... every shrub... Two legged... Four legged... furry... scaled... feathered... they came. Some talking in English... some making their various animal sounds. Some carrying flutes and pipes and lyres... and all bearing expressions of joy and happiness.
"You can see us? Then... you DO believe. It's been centuries since humans believed in us. But if you can see us... we are real! At least... for you."
The centaur smiled pleasantly at Bobby as the music started to play...
"Welcome. My name is Deimos... and this is a day for rejoicing. Take my hands, man child! And welcome to our world"
His crutch was tossed to the side. For the first time in his short life, he didn't need it. His limbs were whole and strong. Ah, the joy of that day! The wonder! For an hour a small boy gulped that wonder. He danced! He whirled! He laughed! He rode on the back of a centaur! He was held and loved... and he was free. But... eventually all dreams must end...
"Bobby! Bobby, where are you?"
"That's Miss Carr, Deimos. Oh, just wait until she sees you."
The boy turned his back for just a moment. But a moment was all it took. An angry nurse stormed into the clearing to find a bewildered Bobby looking about.
"Bobby! So there you are! You're all dirty and perspired!"
He looked all about, searching for his friends, but all that was there were ruins.
"What? They're gone! Deimos, the animals... they just disappeared."
It was an angry Miss Carr that roughly started brushing the dust and dirt from the boys torn clothing...
"Look at you! What on EARTH have you been doing? You KNOW you are never to wander away from me!"
"I've been dancing with the centaur! Miss Carr... it's TRUE! The magic circle really is magic. They were all here! I made a wish and..."
"Nonsense! You disobeyed me, young man! And you KNOW you mustn't get overheated! Your father will hear about this, now MARCH!"
One small boy against the world. Bobby tried. He tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. Later back at the villa, facing his angry father, he tried to explain again. But what grown-up can believe in magic?
"But it's true, daddy! They were there! And I ran and danced... I didn't even need my crutch! Honestly!"
"Bobby, stop it! I rented this villa just for you! The doctor said you need rest and quiet. But if you are going to make up stories..."
"But it's NOT a story! Daddy, please believe me! It's true! I CAN walk. I'll show you I can..."
The poor boy tossed aside his crutch, determined to show his father he was telling the truth. But no sooner did the crutch hit the floor when he felt himself falling over...
"Bobby! No!"
His father raced across the room, just catching his son in his arms in the nick of time. For a while his anger subsided as he held his son close feeling his frail body tremble... hearing him sniffle as he fought not to cry.
"Oh, Bobby, if only your story COULD be true! But it's only what you wish would happen. It's just make believe! Don't you see that?"
"No, Daddy! (sniff-sniff) It DID happen! It did! But there is no magic here. It only happens in the circle. I know that now."
The tenderness in his father that WAS there quickly faded... the frustration returning once again...
"I see. You still won't admit that you made it all up? Very well then, young man. Go to your room! And from now on, there'll be no more talk about magic!"
"Yes, Daddy..." (sob...)
John Nolan really was a good man. He truly loved his son and he always had what he believed to be his son's best interest in mind. In all the years since his mother's death his son had never disobeyed him. But how could he obey him then when a wondrous world was waiting just for him? It was late that night when his father and Miss Carr were asleep that Bobby cautiously crept out of his room and went outside. It was near the edge of the sea cliff that a centaur was waiting for him...
"Deimos! It's you! I... I sneaked out. I HAD to make sure... but it wasn't all a dream. It wasn't!"
"No, it wasn't, Bobby. I told you. Not as long as you believe. So come. Climb on to my back."
"But where are we going?"
"Everywhere! To the sea to visit the mermaids! To the stars! Across the island! What does it matter as long as we are happy? Now hold on Bobby. Hold on..."
With a happy, laughing child on his back, the centaur turned to face the sea cliff. He spread his arms wide as he reared up and galloped toward the edge. He jumped... but did not fall, and centaur and child flew toward the full moon...
If a small boy disobeyed that night, who could blame him? For a little while he rode the wind! But always after a dream, there is...reality. Upon returning home and trying to sneak in, he walked right into his father and nurse...
"Bobby! At last! We've been searching everywhere for you. Where have you been?"
"Oh, Daddy, it's so wonderful! I've been with Deimos, the centaur I told you about. I rode on his back! And we went flying! It was so..."
"So! All right, young man, I've heard enough! If you insist on lying... Get to bed! From here on in I'll handle this my way! Good night!"
My way! Why is it that, in the end, grown-ups always think that their way is the best way? John Nolan loved his son, and yet, in the end he made a mistake. He thought with his head and not with is heart. The next day he returned to the villa accompanied by a psychiatrist. The two men hardly talking as they entered Bobby's room...
"Bobby, this is Dr. Ames. He's a psychiatrist. He wants to know about... about Deimos and the others. You're to tell him everything. EVERYTHING! Is that understood?"
"Yes Daddy..."
It was about three hours later when Dr. Ames sat in the study with Mr. Nolan. You can probably guess what the conversation was going to lead to...
"Mr. Nolan, I think it would be best if you took Bobby away from here."
"Leave here? Take him away? But, Doctor, Bobby loves it here. He loves this place."
"And if he stays here he'll go on fantasizing until he loses touch with reality. Don't you see? It's his mind. I'm afraid... you really have no choice."
Grown-ups! They mean well... but they can be so blind... so cruel in their desires to do what's right. John Nolan wanted only to be kind. But how could his kindness be anything but cruel? That night in his room, Bobby didn't take what his father had come in to tell him as kind at all...
"But... but Daddy, no! Please! I don't want to go! Can't we stay just a little while longer? Please?"
"I'm sorry, Bobby. I know how you feel about your friends. But no, we can't. We leave in the morning. It's for the best. Now go to sleep. That's my final word on the subject."
That night, sleep would not come to Bobby. For many hours he just lay there sobbing and crying. Thinking thoughts that only a child really can...
"It's not fair. I'll never see Deimos again! They'll all just wait and wait and I'll never come! Never..."
His mind made up, Bobby got up and dressed. He would sneak out one last time...
"At least I can go and say goodbye. I've GOT to. I just can't go away like this. I just can't."
They were waiting for him at the magic circle. All of them. But tonight, the music didn't play. They could tell by the way Bobby approached slowly, his head hung low, that something was wrong...
"Oh, Deimos, I can't go away. I just can't. I love my father, but I wish I could stay with you forever."
"Are you sure, Bobby? He loves you too. VERY much so. Do you REALLY want to stay forever? Be sure now. Think."
Almost, a child's heart broke that night. But there are powers that watch over children, and dreams... and... dreamers. There is a power that watches over them... and for them, there is no such word as impossible. And so...
"I... yes! Oh yes! I... I don't want to go back to my crutches! To being sick! I do want to stay! I do, I do!"
"Then climb on to my back again, Bobby. If that's what you really want. Hurry! We've got a long way to go."
With the happy child on his back again, the centaur started to slowly walk toward the sea cliff. A satyr, who put his panpipes to his lips and started to play a merry tune, followed him. Like the rats following the pied piper, the rest followed single file behind the satyr. The parade headed toward the cliff. The centaur was the first to go over the edge. Then, one by one... single file... each one in turn went over the edge. Not a single one fell. The parade marched on into the early dawn sky toward the rising sun on the horizon.
John Nolan searched. For weeks he searched, but found nothing. The whole island searched for the missing boy. On his last day on the island, John Nolan stood almost like a zombie on the edge of the very cliff where his son spent his last moments. A police officer stood with him... solemn. He finally broke the silence...
"Mr. Nolan, I am sorry but it's no use. This island is small. If your son were still on it we would have found him by now. There can be only one answer. You say your son often came here alone and at night, and our cliffs are treacherous."
"You're saying that he fell into the sea? No! I don't believe it! I won't! He was so young..."
"We know, Mr. Nolan, we know. We, too, have sons. If we could do more, we would. Believe us! But... it's over."
It was John Nolan's turn to weep, then. But when he had wept long enough, he, too, knew it was over. And so... he left.
As he stood with Miss Carr on the back end of the boat that would take him away from Xanthos and his son forever, he stared at the cliff with the ruins in the distance through eyes that were misted with tears. The cliff that would be burned into his mind and be the source of his grief for as long as he lived. He would always wonder what he saw there that day...
"No! No, it isn't possible!"
"What is it, Mr. Nolan?"
"Bobby! Just for a moment I thought I saw Bobby! He was riding on the back of... a centaur! And he waved as if... as if he were saying goodbye! But now there's nothing there. Nothing! I guess... I guess I wanted so badly to see him that I thought I did. But it was only an illusion. He... he's gone. Gone forever... (sobs)"
The pity of it. John Nolan would have given anything to see his son again. Anything. But he never will because he doesn't believe. And because he doesn't know where to look. But even if he DID know where to look, one must wonder if he would understand.
On the small Greek island of Xanthos, amidst some ancient ruins, there is an ancient plaque on the wall of a crumbling structure. It depicts a scene out of pure fantasy. Centaurs... Satyrs... mythical animals... all dancing and singing as they play flutes and lyres... and... although it had not been there before... sitting on the back of one of the centaurs is a happy, smiling human child.
A short distance away from the ruins there lays in a field a circle of ancient stones. Legend has it that if you stand in this circle and make a wish... and believe'... that your wish will come true. But who could possibly believe that legend? After all, we aren't ignorant or superstitious. It's only make believe.
Written by Dekadens